I think for now, this is going to be a timeline of my transformation. I want to look back one day and smile, instead of think “Wow, I complained a lot.”

So, That’s my intro. On to my first entry!

This is what started my change… I went to go on my interview with Apple today, and I’m getting ready to go, and my favorite dress pants don’t fit me anymore. I’d like to blame it all on the washing machine in the basement that only produces hot water and really does shrink everything, but I know that even that can’t shrink my pants that much. I keep telling myself that I’m going to work out, or try to eat healthier, but in reality, the gym I work at takes me an hour and a half to get to, and when you don’t make enough money to buy your own food, you have to depend on what dad buys.

“Oh, I went food shopping today. I bought Mac & Cheese, PB & J, Swiss Rolls, Ho-Ho’s, some cheese, and several cases of Pepsi.”

And I thought I was unhealthy. I try to make the best of what is in the cabinets, and usually do pretty well, but those foods do not help me out with my scavenging. It’s pretty funny. So recently I’ve taken to drinking tea in the morning, because 9 AM is too early for Pepsi and I still haven’t realized there’s a tap in the kitchen that produces water… And I think about how healthy I felt even for those few days I did the Master Cleanse.

It was miserable. I hate not eating. And that lemonade tasted like crap. But I felt so much less loaded down with junk. Lately every day I wake up, and seriously, it feels like… I used to feel like broccoli, and now I feel like a Hostess cupcake. Does that make any sense? It’s almost 4 AM.

Anyway. In an act to start being healthier, I’m going to do the Meridith Cleanse. Where I drink the herbal tea at night, I do the saline wash, I cut the word “Pepsi” from my beverage vocabulary, and replace it with “water” and “tea”, but still eat, healthily.

I think this will seriously improve my work, school and sleep habits too. It’s 3:43 and I’m writing a blog. Maybe that will change. Maybe it won’t.

I also want to track my Photography progress, so I’m going to post some assignments and other photos that I think are relevant to my growth.The ones I’m posting today I took for my self portrait project. Since I’m a photographer, I wanted something that didn’t scream “Facebook Profile Pic” and something that if you weren’t told it was a self portrait, you wouldn’t know it was. I love the artsy side of portraits. I like having fun. I’m not a fan of cutesy posing. When I go do actual photoshoots of people, I want them to look like they’re living life, not just sitting around in front of a colored backdrop. If I get to do senior pictures, I want them to look like they’re posing for the cover of their debut album… Instead of taking another goofball school picture. That is what I wanted these photos to say. This is eventually what I want my business to say.

What’s intimidating to me is how other people in my class interpreted the self portrait aspect. When it comes time for critique will they say these are overdone? Did I post-process them too much? Are we even SUPPOSED to edit our pictures yet since we haven’t learned Photoshop in class? Will everyone else just have a cheesey headshot? There’s so much to wonder about. It’s scary. I don’t like scary.

Anyway, here are my two best self portraits out of 109. Yes, I took 109 photos of myself yesterday.